A Marriage Testimony
A Marriage Testimony
By: Becki Kretschmer
For most of my life, “marriage” was a word that carried equal parts longing and pain. I grew up in a world where love didn’t always look safe. Abuse was part of my story from the beginning, and by the time I married, I had already endured sexual assaults from four different men. I was pregnant, wounded, and desperate to create something beautiful out of broken pieces. I wanted to honor God. I wanted to honor my husband. And I believed if I could just love enough, serve enough, respect enough—somehow it would be enough.
But the truth is, it never was.
No matter how much I gave, the more invisible I became. I did everything alone—raising our children, holding the home together, praying through tears that God would make it better. I thought submission meant silence, and that sacrifice meant losing myself completely. I believed that being a “good wife” meant enduring anything. And over time, the woman God created me to be faded into the shadows.
And then—he walked away.
That moment felt like death and freedom colliding. God didn’t just rescue me from a marriage that was breaking me; He rescued me from the lies I believed about love. He set me free. Not free from marriage itself, but free from the idea that love required erasing myself.
And in His mercy, He didn’t stop there.
God gave me a miracle.
He brought me a man who didn’t just see the surface. He saw my scars—the deep open wounds—and didn’t turn away. He saw me. Not the past, not the pain, or the polished version I thought I had to present. Just me. And somehow, he loved me there.
That kind of love changes a person.
When someone loves you like that, you stop surviving and start healing. His love didn’t shrink me; it made me grow. And the more I became myself, the more he loved me. The more he loved me, the freer I became to be who God wanted me to be. And the freer I became, the more I loved him. It’s this beautiful circle of grace that only God could write.
Our marriage is as close to perfect as I can imagine.
Because now I understand: this is what God intended in the Garden of Eden. Marriage was never meant to be a battleground or a burden. It was meant to be a partnership. Two people, joined as one flesh—not to consume each other, but to complete a divine purpose together. God didn’t create Eve to walk behind Adam or beneath him, but beside him. Together, they were to walk with God, reflecting His love and multiplying His goodness in the world.
That’s what marriage is supposed to look like—two whole people becoming one, both surrendering not to each other’s control, but to God’s call. It’s about being seen, known, and loved the way Christ loves the Church—with truth, grace, and sacrifice.
If you’ve known pain in marriage—or if your story feels too broken to ever be beautiful again—please hear me: God is not done writing. He restores what’s been destroyed. He rebuilds what’s been shattered. And He can bring life where there’s been only ashes.
That’s what He did for me.
Today, I wake up beside a man who loves me the way God designed love to be—selfless, kind, protective, and freeing. Together, we laugh, pray, and dream. We’ve learned that the key to a successful marriage isn’t found in perfection, performance, or even passion. It’s found in perfect partnership—with each other and with God.
And when a man and woman walk as one flesh, with God at the center, they don’t just bless each other—they bless the world. That’s love in the Garden, as God designed it.
So let’s challenge ourselves this week to live the kind of marriage God created for us.
•We both love Mount Rainier. Whenever I see the mountain, I think of my husband and I pray for him. Just quickly. Is there something in your life you could use as a visual reminder to pray for your partner frequently?
Pray without ceasing. – 1 Thessalonians 5:17
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. -James 4:8
•My husband saw things in me that I had long given up on. Interests, hobbies, etc. He urges me to pursue them, and I see how God is using that. Is there something in your spouse, some interest or ability, that you should encourage? Pray that God would help you see all your partners' gifts and that you would promote those things in them.
Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called ‘Today', so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. -Hebrews 3:13
Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. -Philippians 2:4
•We demonstrate the worth of a person by giving our full attention to their words. Challenge yourself to stop what you are doing and give your spouse your full attention when they are talking to you. Hear them, both what they say and what they don’t.
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. -James 1:19
In the multitude of words, sin is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent. – Proverbs 10:19
•Sometimes “submit” sounds like a bad thing. Webster defines "submit" as yielding to the will of another. Today, practice that. What does your spouse want that you could give him or her today? Practice with something small, something that takes no more than 5 minutes.
Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. – Philippians 2:3
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ – Ephesians 5:21
•Do the people around you know what you love about your spouse? Today, tell them. The way you talk about your spouse has a tremendous impact on both your marriage and the people you are talking to.
Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. – 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. – Colossians 4:6
•If you have been married for any length of time, you have seen your spouse change. Today, tell them something you love about the new person they have become. He has made everything beautiful in its time.
He has made everything beautiful in its time. Ecclesiastes 3:11
Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. – Philippians 4:8
•How do your spouse's strengths offset your weaknesses? Express your appreciation for those strengths.
Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. – Proverbs 16:24
Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor. – 1 Peter 2:17
But the truth is, it never was.
No matter how much I gave, the more invisible I became. I did everything alone—raising our children, holding the home together, praying through tears that God would make it better. I thought submission meant silence, and that sacrifice meant losing myself completely. I believed that being a “good wife” meant enduring anything. And over time, the woman God created me to be faded into the shadows.
And then—he walked away.
That moment felt like death and freedom colliding. God didn’t just rescue me from a marriage that was breaking me; He rescued me from the lies I believed about love. He set me free. Not free from marriage itself, but free from the idea that love required erasing myself.
And in His mercy, He didn’t stop there.
God gave me a miracle.
He brought me a man who didn’t just see the surface. He saw my scars—the deep open wounds—and didn’t turn away. He saw me. Not the past, not the pain, or the polished version I thought I had to present. Just me. And somehow, he loved me there.
That kind of love changes a person.
When someone loves you like that, you stop surviving and start healing. His love didn’t shrink me; it made me grow. And the more I became myself, the more he loved me. The more he loved me, the freer I became to be who God wanted me to be. And the freer I became, the more I loved him. It’s this beautiful circle of grace that only God could write.
Our marriage is as close to perfect as I can imagine.
Because now I understand: this is what God intended in the Garden of Eden. Marriage was never meant to be a battleground or a burden. It was meant to be a partnership. Two people, joined as one flesh—not to consume each other, but to complete a divine purpose together. God didn’t create Eve to walk behind Adam or beneath him, but beside him. Together, they were to walk with God, reflecting His love and multiplying His goodness in the world.
That’s what marriage is supposed to look like—two whole people becoming one, both surrendering not to each other’s control, but to God’s call. It’s about being seen, known, and loved the way Christ loves the Church—with truth, grace, and sacrifice.
If you’ve known pain in marriage—or if your story feels too broken to ever be beautiful again—please hear me: God is not done writing. He restores what’s been destroyed. He rebuilds what’s been shattered. And He can bring life where there’s been only ashes.
That’s what He did for me.
Today, I wake up beside a man who loves me the way God designed love to be—selfless, kind, protective, and freeing. Together, we laugh, pray, and dream. We’ve learned that the key to a successful marriage isn’t found in perfection, performance, or even passion. It’s found in perfect partnership—with each other and with God.
And when a man and woman walk as one flesh, with God at the center, they don’t just bless each other—they bless the world. That’s love in the Garden, as God designed it.
So let’s challenge ourselves this week to live the kind of marriage God created for us.
•We both love Mount Rainier. Whenever I see the mountain, I think of my husband and I pray for him. Just quickly. Is there something in your life you could use as a visual reminder to pray for your partner frequently?
Pray without ceasing. – 1 Thessalonians 5:17
Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. -James 4:8
•My husband saw things in me that I had long given up on. Interests, hobbies, etc. He urges me to pursue them, and I see how God is using that. Is there something in your spouse, some interest or ability, that you should encourage? Pray that God would help you see all your partners' gifts and that you would promote those things in them.
Encourage one another daily, as long as it is called ‘Today', so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. -Hebrews 3:13
Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. -Philippians 2:4
•We demonstrate the worth of a person by giving our full attention to their words. Challenge yourself to stop what you are doing and give your spouse your full attention when they are talking to you. Hear them, both what they say and what they don’t.
Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. -James 1:19
In the multitude of words, sin is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent. – Proverbs 10:19
•Sometimes “submit” sounds like a bad thing. Webster defines "submit" as yielding to the will of another. Today, practice that. What does your spouse want that you could give him or her today? Practice with something small, something that takes no more than 5 minutes.
Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. – Philippians 2:3
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ – Ephesians 5:21
•Do the people around you know what you love about your spouse? Today, tell them. The way you talk about your spouse has a tremendous impact on both your marriage and the people you are talking to.
Therefore, encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. – 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person. – Colossians 4:6
•If you have been married for any length of time, you have seen your spouse change. Today, tell them something you love about the new person they have become. He has made everything beautiful in its time.
He has made everything beautiful in its time. Ecclesiastes 3:11
Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. – Philippians 4:8
•How do your spouse's strengths offset your weaknesses? Express your appreciation for those strengths.
Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. – Proverbs 16:24
Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor. – 1 Peter 2:17
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